Ain't it Great to be Crazy?

Boom, boom, ain’t it great to be crazy
Boom, boom, ain’t it great to be nuts like us
Silly and foolish all day long
Boom, boom ain’t it great to be crazy

You have one, admit it. There is one person that you work with that drives you nuts. The one person who puts your knickers in a twist no matter how good your day has been. I believe that there are three types: people who are incompetent, people who are weird and by nature are irritating, people who are just plain evil. For the ease of comparisons, I will label them Dolts, Dweebs, and Demons. (Those playing at home may feel free to insert substitute words as they choose, but please keep up with the alliteration. For example:
Goofs, Geeks, Guttersnipes works, as does Simpletons, Screwballs and Scamps but Half-wits, Queer Ducks, and Hellions does not. You get the picture, and please don’t use “moron” as it has now become a term of endearment for a small group of former co-workers, you know, people of the land….)
Anywho, the next serious of three blogs shall be dedicated to those three unique sets of individuals which have become the bees in our bonnets. We shall start with the Dolts:

DOLT n. A stupid person; a dunce.

[Middle English dulte, from past participle of dullen, to dull, from dul, dull. See dull.]


An example of doltism: There is an office refrigerator/freezer that everyone shares. The Dolt removes the container that holds the ice, and doesn’t turn the icemaker off. Days go by and an unsuspecting co-worker opens the freezer, setting off an avalanche of ice cubes, which would all but incapacitate the largest of steam ships.

How would we describe this person? (Careful not to use vulgarities, we may have a sensitive audience) How about “not the sharpest knife in the drawer” or “one sandwich short of a picnic” or “two bricks shy of a load”. Surely there are more. Keeping in mind that these phrases should describe INCOMPETENCE and not weirdness or evil, what do YOU say?

His elevator doesn't go all the way to the top floor.
The lights are on, but nobody's home.
He’s a few fries away from a happy meal.
They’re not the brightest bulb on the tree.
He doesn't have all his cornflakes in one box.
He doesn't have all the dots on his dice.
She fell out of the family tree.
She’s dumber than a box of rocks
He has a full six-pack but not the plastic rings to hold it together.
He's knitting with only one needle.
He’s one egg short of a dozen.
She’s not the brightest star in the sky.
He’s a few crayons short of a full box.
The engine is running, but there's no one at the wheel
He has a photographic memory, but no film.
He's as useful as a screen door on a submarine.

Are there more? Tell me how YOU describe incompetent co-workers. (Keep your thinking caps on for the next installment of "Dweebs.")



* Camp song